I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
