belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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