I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
