weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
