oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
