and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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