I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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