Tell her she can't have a vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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