some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
