I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
