btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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