I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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