Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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