Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize