My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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