He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
