If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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