yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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