I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
