dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
