drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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