Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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