Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
