nut hugger
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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