I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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