Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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