woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
