He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up under a house in Key West
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize