he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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