I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
pray to the hookup gods
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
