Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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