I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
