How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drunk is not a location!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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