Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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