TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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