why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
