the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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