Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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