I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
