he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
