Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize