I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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