we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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