Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
