I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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