make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
