I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
