I love black thongs
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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