You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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