Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
