found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Panties = found
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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