i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
