Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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