I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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