you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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